Blog Flashback! - The No Guru Zone 01/31/2012
_ I originally published this a year ago. I wanted to pull it up and repost it since I have had so many new subscribers since then! Enjoy! -------------------------------------------------------- I want to be very clear to all of you about something. I am not, or ever intend to be a self proclaimed or "ordained by society" parenting expert. I am only here to write about my experiences in an effort to share what has worked and hasn’t worked for me. If you can gain a different perspective or see an idea you’d like to try, then great! If you completely disagree with anything I say or believe that nothing I share has any benefit to you other than the fact that you know you don’t want to do things the way I have, then that is just as perfect. Either way I don’t feel like I am wasting my time here. Everything I share is solely my opinion and my viewpoint and I am not here to seek validation. So here’s for my opinion part: I believe parenting is a process, just like any other relationship, but often more complex because we each have a unique perspective regarding who our children are, how they learn, what their personality traits are as well as what their strengths are. I believe you betray your relationship with your child when you parent in a way that doesn’t feel completely right to you. I’m not saying that you can’t try different things to see if they work for you but what I am talking about is adopting a parenting “method” that you feel coerced into or uncomfortable with for any reason. I believe, the most effective and quickest way of disconnecting from your kids can happen through adopting a new parenting style that is not grounded in the relationship you desire to have with your kids just because you read a book or took a seminar. If it doesn’t feel right to you right now, don’t do it. Also if you are considering a new parenting style, be sure you have conversations with people who have already tried it. And I am not talking about those that have very young ones that have been doing it only for a few months. Talk to as many people as you can to get the full picture from those that have done it for at least a few years. These are the people that can tell you the pros and cons, what worked and what didn’t – not someone who decided that their way is the right way and who is interested in either self promoting or who wants others to do what they are doing because they need the validation. Self-proclaimed or society-ordained “gurus” are probably the biggest offenders for undermining your parenting. They most often give the worst kind of advice because many, at a certain point, start adopting a god-complex and act as if they have all of the answers for you. Sometimes self-promoters don’t always have the healthiest intentions in doing what they do. Don’t give your power away to them and let their opinions rule your life or make you feel guilty in any way. Especially the ones that do go out of their way to make snide or passive aggressive comments about parents “like you” in order to manipulate you to feel like you are the one missing something. While you don’t always have to dismiss them completely don’t let their strict definitions constrict your life. Take what may help you and ignore the rest. I don’t believe in deciding what is right for other parents especially since parenting has a tendency to expose people’s vulnerabilities at times. When parents feel unsure of themselves and vulnerable (and we all do at one time or another) they are more apt to be taken advantage of by unscrupulous people who need to feel that what they are doing is the right way, so they proselytize and gain followers. (Isn’t that what cultists do?) I refuse to do that or endorse anyone else who does. I parent through being connected to my kids. If you can find a way to do that through your own unique parenting style, which will most likely be different than mine in more ways than one, then you are on the right track. Above all, I believe that you need to find your own style that works for you and your kids. If you don’t feel right about certain aspects of your relationship with your kids, stop making things more complicated than they need to be by looking elsewhere for answers all the time. You need to take responsibility. I know for some parents, it’s more frightening to take responsibility than to run through a list of everything they “tried” and then be able to blame everyone else, or worse, their child, when none of those things worked. Our kids are not from a different species than we are. They are not pets and we don't need to pick up a book to learn more about them. It is much more simple. You need to remember what it was like to BE a kid, without projecting your own childhood “stuff” on them, and you need to always be focused on how much you love them. If you try something and it doesn’t work don’t be bitter and hold onto blame. You chose to do it and simply ignored your own reservations or didn’t get enough of the full story before you tried it. Everything will have pros and cons for you and only you can determine what those are not matter how anyone else presents their viewpoint. You have the power to find what works best for you! Add Comment Learning freedom! 11/13/2011
I am grateful to have the freedom to homeschool our children and help them learn different things on an ongoing basis. Our most recent experience with this has been in the area of music. As my longtime readers know, we are a pretty musical family. (If you are a new subscriber, here are a couple of my husband's band's music videos that I have shared before - Adrenaline Addiction Under Pressure - Cover Each of our kids have had varying degrees of musical interest. They have the opportunity to play with various instruments we have around the house – a piano, my old flute, smaller sized electric and acoustic guitars and a full size drum kit. Our youngest likes to sing and needs her own microphone if she’s hanging with us when we practice. Our oldest had expressed interest in taking piano lessons when he was about seven. He has also performed on stage in musical productions. Recently, he has been expressing interest in learning how to play the guitar. Now you would think this would be a no-brainer. We bought him his own electric guitar and mounted a hangar for it on the wall in his room. We set him up with some video lessons and a couple of basic books to refer to. On top of that we figured since my husband has been playing guitar for so long and I have some classical guitar lessons behind me, we’d have it covered. That all makes sense, right? We were so wrong! We were assuming he’d just jump right in, be motivated to do it and ask us for help if he needed it. Weeks went by and the guitar hadn’t been touched more than a few times. When I asked him if he liked the video lessons he said he did but I still didn’t see right away why he just wasn’t running with it if he really wanted to play. After some consideration, I realized we apparently forgot that with some things he really enjoys learning through direct interaction. It turns out that this would be one of those things! The videos just weren’t interactive enough and couldn’t replace an in-person human teacher for him. I also realized that just because we are musicians doesn’t automatically mean we know how to break it down simply enough for a beginner to learn without getting frustrated; not to say we didn’t try! We had a bit of our own egos to swallow to admit this but once we did, it was easy to figure out the next step. My husband and I enjoy going out to see live bands and have started to get to know who’s who locally. We discovered that one of the guitarists we have seen live that we liked just happened to also offer lessons. We signed him up and he is doing really well. While we understood that it is most important that the teacher not only enjoys playing the type of music he wants to play and can play it well, it is just important that he must be someone that our son enjoys learning from. Thankfully we chose right! Homeschooling High School 10/27/2011
People love plans, formulas, labels and superficial studies. We love the pretty little packages we can buy and don't have to analyze because they are convenient. It's something we can buy and consume. If it doesn't work out we can blame who sold it to us. We don't have to take responsibility for not doing our due diligence if we don't want to. This is no different when it comes to education. We love to believe what we are told about what works and what doesn't. Have you stopped to notice that the favorable "evidence" in support of the status quo only points to economics and never includes any point of reference to feelings of long term personal fulfillment or happiness? I have been trying to keep all of this in mind lately especially during my recent temporary moments of panic. My oldest homeschooling child is now fourteen! This declaration is something I am not taking lightly. It's hitting me in the same way I think it hits a lot of other homeschoolers. My son is officially a highschooler!!! I am starting to understand why some homeschoolers get scared and send their kids to high school. I have had my days of panic and uncertainty before. Are the kids learning enough? Am I doing everything I can to help them reach their full potential? It's certainly harder to face these questions when all of the responsibility is on me. I can't point fingers at a school system or certain teachers. How many are brave enough to really, honestly take that responsibility whether their kids are in a school system or not? My only educational point of reference is my own. I attended a private high school and had more intense classes with double the homework than I had in college. I also had to work part time; mostly for free in order to compensate for my high school tuition. I also look at the family histories that my husband and I have. Both sides are full of professional artists, engineers, entrepreneurs, lawyers and white-collar employees. How do I go from that history to this moment of uncharted territory for us? The beliefs that were instilled in me tell me that if the kids aren't well "trained" they will struggle and become victims of the system. It's hard to deprogram these messages when you are still surrounded by them. I have heard very mixed results from those that have homeschooled through high school. The funny thing is I have heard just as mixed, if not worse, results from kids that went through the traditional route too. No matter which path you want to go, neither is a formula for guaranteed success. I have written about this before in “What do you want to be when you grow up?” High school kids graduating with honors, speaking three languages and having full resumes of achievements are a dime a dozen. What aren’t very common are young adults who stand out because they have something that drives them and lights their direction. This is when I look at how many in our families haven’t felt fulfilled no matter what their paychecks were like. One of the advantages of having a decent amount of adult life behind me is that I can also look at the life experiences of my friends and colleagues. I have over twenty years of real life examples right in front of me. Having the maturity to see the big picture of these people’s lives is a great advantage! Who is truly happy, who isn’t and most importantly why? Which ones had a mid-life crisis? How many of these people are still trying to “find” themselves? What can I do differently with my kids so they are set up for success and happiness in life? What I do know is that I want my kids to be independent, fulfilled and always confident that they can take care of themselves no matter what twists and turns life has in store for them. I don’t want them living their life according to someone else’s formula, agenda, dogma or society’s expectations of them. What I want most for them is to keep in touch with who they are and what makes them happy. So with renewed confidence I am approaching our new high school homeschooling journey. My son will be able to continue to follow the interests he is most passionate about, continue to build the strong friendships he has and always know that no matter what he chooses as his path in life, it is HIS path. Hopefully, with a continued awareness of motivations behind his academic and life decisions, I can continue to guide him to live a productive, creative, fun and satisfying life. Photo credit - Dean Terry How do I begin homeschooling? I would love to follow that path with my kids but don't know where to start! (Just a question I get a LOT!) There is no shortage of advice about how to homeschool. There are tons of articles that will guide you by covering things like telling you to find out what your state laws are, to find your local homeschool networks and to read certain books. When you start talking to other homeschool parents they are very quick to offer advice as well. You will soon find out that there are many labels that people use and you are left sold on the style they described to you or you are completely confused. There is relaxed homeschooling, classical homeschooling, eclectic homeschoooling, unschooling, radical unschooling, Waldorf homeschooling, life learning, etc, etc. Then there are the reasons for homeschooling that can include religious, academic, ethical, philosophical, special needs or others as well as combinations of a number of them. To go along with any of your reasons there are different types of curriculum: whole package, state provided, by subject, by grade, religious, secular, unit study, lapbook, co-op classes, distance learning, online courses, video courses, etc. Confused yet? If you are starting to think that you need some sort of training to understand any of this, think again! After homeschooling for as long as I have, I have been around many different types of homeschoolers. Some have always homeschooled, some have pulled their children out of school and some have put their children back in school. The ones that put their children back in school after a very short time of homeschooling have always had one thing in common. (Not including the ones that had to go back to work full time, of course.) They ALL started off focusing on the wrong thing. They concentrated on everything I mentioned above instead of focusing on the most important thing to make homeschooling and parenting a successful and peaceful way of life. They didn't spend enough time thinking about or working on their relationship with their child. I know this is a very specific thing to say but it is directly relevant to the reasons each one of these parents gave as to why they were putting their child back in school. Most of the time it was because the parents believed that their own learning style was the style that their child should be following whether the child liked it or not. They forced it on them to simplify things; you know, kind of like schools do because they don't know of any other way. Then they wondered why their child was rebelling against them more than ever when it came to everything else as well. If you are thinking about homeschooling, I would suggest you ask yourself a few questions. What is your relationship with your child like? How well do you really know your child? What is your interaction like? How does your child's personality mesh with yours? How does your child like to learn about things? Is it ok with you if that is different than your own style? Are you willing to let your child "run" with anything they are interested in? Are you willing to drive your child to different field trips and local homeschool events or classes that your child wants to attend? Every homeschooling parent I have met who was having trouble with homeschooling was having difficulty in one or more of those areas. If you go into homeschooling thinking about these things first, the rest will fall into place. Photo credit - jimmiehomeschoolmom Unschooling and food control 08/07/2011
I understand how there is a belief in the unschooling community that kids should be allowed to eat whatever they want and whenever they want. While I really like all of the other aspects of unschooling I just can’t get myself to the point of not controlling the food my kids eat. I know that a part of it is because I have a weight problem and I just don’t want my kids to follow in my footsteps. What is your opinion on this? (Question submitted via email) I have been asked to do a kids and food blog many times. I have been a little resistant to do so because food tends to be a very emotional issue with people. Some of those issues go back to how food was a part of family life growing up and for others there are health related concerns. The only way I can answer this question is to tell you a little about my own relationship with food and how I apply that to raising my kids. I have to start by saying that I LOVE food! If I had the time to spend all afternoon cooking every day I would. It is because of my love for food that I am not a big fan of processed and chemically laden food. I don’t think it tastes good and most often I don’t feel very good after I eat it. Being in tune with how my body feels when I eat has always been my norm. As far as my own history goes, a large variety of food was not an everyday part of life growing up. In fact I would get in huge trouble if the fresh fruit or veggies that were brought into the house were eaten too quickly. I do have to say that even though I experienced a lack of food choices, I don’t overindulge as a result of it. I understand that I could have gone down that particular path as a way of emotionally processing that feeling of lack but this has not been my personal reality. I have never had an issue with my weight nor do I believe in dieting. I believe that everyone’s bodies need different nutrients at different times. I also believe that food cravings are directly linked to that in some way. My kids do eat what they want and when they want. I try to have as much variety available to them as I can. They have a good understanding of what foods have lots of nutrients and which don’t. I encourage them to give their bodies what they need but as a rule I do not control what they eat and when they eat. They have had cookies for breakfast before but I will tell you that it’s a rarity. That just isn’t a regular choice of theirs. I also NEVER, EVER force them to eat food they don't like. I feel that this is abusive. The "One more bite." method that is forced on a lot of kids teaches them to ignore the fact that their body is telling them to stop eating. If they don't want a food in a particular moment then they don't need it. I also do take into account how my kids feel when they eat and help them tune into that. My youngest has a food coloring sensitivity. I had the opportunity to see this in action once again yesterday. She had some candy at a friend’s birthday party and didn’t feel good for a while after she ate it. I try to restrict that chemical in our food knowing that it doesn’t make her feel good. I also am aware that she may outgrow this sensitivity so that is why I let her have the candy yesterday. I wasn’t automatically expecting a reaction but saw that she obviously still has it. As far as what works for you and your family, I feel that you have to find your own balance. If you realize that you don’t have a healthy attitude towards food yourself, work on that first. As you know, I am a big believer in setting the example that we want our kids to follow. Some people really dupe themselves into thinking that the “do as I say, not as I do” example works. All that creates is an attitude where your child is waiting to grow up to get ”their turn” in following in your footsteps. Can your kids learn to self-regulate? 07/18/2011
Question submitted via email: I am having trouble with the whole self-regulation thing? My child will stay up all night, sleep all day, play video games for hours and forget to eat. He just doesn't seem to get it! As much as I love the philosophy of letting him learn how to self-regulate, it has gotten to the point where this just isn't healthy! He is only 10 years old. What do I do? I understand what a tremendous amount of faith it takes in realizing that children can and do learn how to self regulate. Very, very few of us were raised that way so it's hard for us to just let go and see how the process works because we have never experienced it. We were raised with sets of arbitrary rules that often made no sense and didn't take anyone's needs or individuality into account. Because we don't know how it works, we are unsure of the whole process. We are left feeling like we are "supposed" to do things a certain way even if those ways don't work and cause nothing but struggle and frustration for everyone. First of all, you have to realize that our kids are born already knowing how to do some very basic self-regulation. Babies know when they are full. They know when they need to sleep. They know how to get our attention when they need it. They are born innately knowing how to do all of this. They un-learn how to do many of this through external circumstances. They unlearn this skill through rules that parents feel like they are supposed to enforce that in reality do not make sense for the child or for their family. Parents make their kids eat things they hate. They make their kids go to "sleep" when they aren't tired. They get them out of bed when they really need more sleep. They put them on an artificial schedule that doesn't fit with the child's individual needs, very often, from the time the child is born They also unlearn self-regulation from seeing parents set bad examples. They see their parents push themselves to eat more than they should or skip meals. They see them work too hard or stay up too late. They see them spending way more time then they should in front of the computer. Whether they mean to or not, sometimes parents are the ones that show them how to push things further than they should. I also have to say that even with parents that do not force arbitrary rules and schedules and those have control of themselves, there are kids that get so into something that they overdo it all on their own. Normally I would I would suggest giving it a little time if what they are doing isn't harming anyone, including themselves. To get back to your specific question, since you say it's at the point where it isn't healthy for him, don't be afraid to step in and give some guidance. Ask him how he is feeling. Pay close attention to any changes in behavior that indicate that maybe he should take a break because he isn't listening to how he his body is feeling. Is he getting agitated? Does he look happy? Tired? Bored? Tuned out? Overstimulated? Is he eating? Talking with him about how he's feeling as well as talking about what you are observing about him will help him to eventually pay closer attention to when he needs to take a break. To use my own family as an example, two of my kids are polar opposites when it comes to this issue. Recently one of them has really gotten into an online game that he will play with his friends. He will get on Skype so he can talk to them while he plays and it's really easy for him to get sucked in for hours. However, he stops when he's hungry or when he wants to go and do something else. My other son however had a much harder time learning to stop when he needed to at the same age. He wouldn't pay attention to the fact that his eyes would start to hurt after a while of playing and I would have to step in and tell him that his eyes looked tired. He would forget to eat, which he has a tendency to do anyway and gaming would make this tendency worse. I have learned to just work with each of my kids' personalities and individual needs and help them pay attention to certain things when they needed to. They have learned to self regulate but not without gentle, respectful guidance. They still need reminders sometimes. Things can change too! One of them may be going through a growth spurt and they need more hours of sleep than they did previously. There may be some scheduling changes where they have to be certain places at certain times that they weren't used to and they will need reminders of that. The key is to keep working with your child. Wanting your child to learn self-regulation does not mean that you just sit back and not be a parent to them. It is knowing your child so well that you are able to guide them to do what is right for themselves. I have received more questions on the topic and will continue to stay on the topic as long as I need to in order to answer them all. If you have more questions, don't hesitate to submit them as well! Photo credit - fd's photostream Need a different perspective? 07/16/2011
I wanted to pop in from our busy, fun summer to ask something of you. I would absolutely love it if you could send me parenting questions that you would like to hear my perspective on. Anything goes! The most recent question I received was about unschooling and kids learning how to self-regulate. If you have any questions specifically about that, or any other subject, feel free to either submit them in the Comments below or email me at robin@theintuitiveparent.com. I will try to cover at least one question per week. I hope you all are having a fun filled season! Liberal Arts Living II 06/24/2011
This is my 2nd annual Liberal Arts Living blog. I hadn’t planned on this being an annual thing but I decided that since I have done a whole lot more living since my blog a year ago, I wanted to share with all of you. My only hope is that it will inspire you to get up and do something new. Over the past year: • I decided to publish a book; which most of you know already. • I learned how to knit. • I learned how to sew wool felt playthings for my kids. • I learned how to get over my fear of singing in front of everyone. • I have learned about adding more raw food recipes to our family food choices. • I learned how to grow my own organic garden. • I am learning how to play the bass; something I have said I wanted to do since high school. • I made my first herbal tinctures. • And most recently, my husband, 14 year old son and I decided to participate in the NH 48 Hour Film Project. We had to write, shoot, edit and complete a 5 to 7 minute mini-move with all work being done in the 48 hour period. There are a lot of new things that are in the works for the next year but I will keep those under wraps until I actually do them. A lot of them are new for me. The ones I am most excited, as well as nervous, about are the ones where I will be out there helping other parents. How does all of this fit into my parenting? I am living the kind of life I want my kids to live. A life not filled with “I always wanted to”s and “someday”s and certainly NOT “when the kids move out”s. What kind of example would that be for them? If I haven’t been always learning something new and actively pursuing my interests, I do fear what kind of message that would give my kids. Would it tell my daughter that to be a stay at home mom is to be boring, or bored? Would it tell my sons that their future wives couldn’t pursue what their interests were unless it were making an income? Would it tell the kids that mom can’t start living her own life until they are out of the house? Instead I am showing them that you can be an involved, loving parent with close relationships with your kids without smothering them or living your life vicariously through them. I am showing them that parents need to feel fulfilled and it makes them better parents. I am showing them, and go look this one up for yourselves, that the key to staying younger is to always learn something new. I could sit here and just “tell” them about all of this, but actually doing it shows them that I would know what I was talking about if I did talk to them about it. I hope I have inspired you to get up and just go do one new thing. I don’t care what it is or how crazy it sounds! There is no excuse good enough not to. Would you do it if I told you your kid's future happiness depends on it? ** If you subscribe via rss feed, please visit www.theintuitiveparent.com to see the slide show. Video Game Violence: An Aha! Moment 04/18/2011
Recently our 10 year-old son, Colin, discovered we had the original Halo for our old Xbox. He saw it in storage and asked me if he could play it. After checking the rating on it, and seeing that it was rated M, I told him that I didn’t think it was appropriate for his age due to violence, language or intensity but I wasn't sure so I’d ask dad about it. Since I don’t have very much time, or desire for that matter, to play video games anymore I rely on published reviews and friends’ opinions on the appropriateness of certain games. This was one game that I heard mentioned within some gaming circles as not necessarily deserving of the “Mature” rating. We ultimately decided to let him play it. I figured I could watch the kids play it as well as ask them if there was anything that bothered them about it. After my husband also played it with our son, we decided that our 8 year old, Ethan, was mature enough to play it as well. I’ll admit that I still had my reservations but I was taking a watch and see sort of approach with it. About two weeks after the kids started playing it, we had an incident that made me realize that my kids were way more in tune with reality no matter what studies try to show about kids and video games. It was right after dinner and the six of us were running around the house chasing each other. Everyone was laughing and having a great time. We were all at the point where we were out of breath so I decided to run upstairs to check the afternoon’s emails before it got too late. It was about two minutes later that I hear our four year-old daughter, Keira, crying, and about sixty seconds after that Colin and Ethan came running upstairs with tears in their eyes saying “Dad needs you.” You can imagine what I started to feel at that instant but I managed to take a deep breath and quickly go downstairs instead of panicking. As soon as I walked in the kitchen, I was thankful that the first thing I saw was the quarter inch long, tiny cut above Keira’s eye. If I had seen all of the blood first, I probably would have been as upset as the boys. She was covered in blood from the top of one side of her head, down her arm and elbow, and down the side of her leg. My husband was holding her and trying to calm her down so he hadn’t been able to determine where the blood had come from yet. All I can figure is that since she had just been running around, her blood was really pumping and then when she hit her head of the side of the table, the first thing she most likely did was rub where she hurt herself, spreading the blood everywhere. I got her cleaned up and put some medicine on her cut which had stopped bleeding just as quickly as it had started. Then my ten year old looks up at me and says: “Halo is nowhere near as scary as THAT was!” My eight year-old, who was standing next to him with big tears in his eyes says, “Yeah! I thought Keira was going to die.” I will never, ever wonder if my kids truly understand the difference between video game violence and reality ever again! (Thankfully, Keira didn’t need any stitches and it looked like a tiny scratch above her eye by the next day.) Just ONE day of our home educating life. 03/06/2011
(If you can't see the photo slideshow in your RSS Feed, please go directly to my site at The Intuitive Parent to see them.) Every single day in our house is different. I know that’s hard for those who have no idea what homeschooling is about to comprehend. Hopefully, after you see how things change and progress naturally, you will understand. Thursday was a perfect example of how one thing just flows into the other and how learning is integrated into our lives. The week had already begun a little off because I started to feel like I was coming down with a cold so I had to cancel daytime visits with friends. This is one of the days that we had to cancel so we were home all day. If we classically homeschooled, meaning "school at home" style, it would look like a schedule, with a list of tasks completed. I will warn you this is long, because it ISN’T a schedule and, if you are an unschooler, this won’t surprise you. My day began at 7:15am, which is earlier than normal, but I wanted to be up to see our 13 year old, Jody, off to his homeschool Movie Club. They are right in the middle of their 12 hour per day, 10 day shoot. The kids have been involved in every single part of the process of making a movie. From deciding the theme, writing and re-writing the script, auditioning for parts, costumes, sets, directing, videography, sound, lighting, directing, etc, etc, and using real equipment, each of the kids get a chance to be involved in every single job beginning to end. I am SO very grateful for this club because Jody's passion is acting! After Jody was off, I got myself ready for the day just in time for our other three who also decided to get up a little earlier than usual, at 8:00. Colin, our 10 year old, jumped right into playing his MMOG game, Lego Universe. Up until its release date, he was a Lego Universe Beta tester and has discovered more glitches. Ethan, our 8 year old, was hanging out with him playing with his Bionicles. And Keira, who is 4, decided it was a Dora The Explorer morning. After a breakfast of multigrain toast, cantaloupe, and home-made lemonade, Ethan asked if we could make a new drink recipe. If you have been following my blog long enough, you will remember that I released a book at the end of last year called The Herbal Beverage Book and the kids were my taste testers. Ethan pulled out the rooibos and nettles and decided those were the two he wanted to use. We measured the herbs and pure stevia (a natural sweetener); this is where I took the obvious opportunity to use this as a fun fractions lesson. Ethan even named it – Bouncy Tea! As soon as we were done with that, Keira noticed the teardrop crystal prism we have hanging in the window was sending rainbows all over the kitchen. The kids made a game of finding as many rainbow pieces as they could. Ethan wanted to know how the crystal did that so we talked about refraction and visited this website – Explain That Stuff! By now Ethan wanted to get Colin off the computer so he decided to draw a bunch of arrows on pieces of orange paper that led from where Colin was, all the way downstairs to where he would hide. When Colin found him they all played hide and seek. While the boys did that, Keira brought me one of those learning dolls that have buttons, snaps, zippers and ties and asked me to show her how to tie the shoe again. She’s getting it really quickly! By now it’s about 10:00 and the kids are hungry again. They all agreed on peanut butter and jelly! (Organic, peanuts only and the same for the fruit spread. No extra oils, sugars, etc.) I have to say that this was a rare food day. They normally do not all pick the same thing to eat! After they were done, Keira was absolutely thrilled to receive her first piece of mail! She got a Thank You card from her friend Zoe! Keira had me buy a duplicate of a stuffed animal she wanted from the store to give to her. This turned into a discussion about how great getting a Thank You makes you feel, even when the person thanked you at the time they received the gift. This reminded Ethan that he needed to send some for his birthday party gifts. He decided it would be a good day to work on them. After that the kids wanted to make some popsicles with the lemonade we had. We found some frozen raspberries and filled the molds for a snack for later. Since we seemed to be in a cooking mode already, Colin suggested that we take one of the raw snack recipes we had tried the week before and change the ingredients. We made almond, peanut, cranberry, oat balls; which included more measuring, dividing fractions and figuring out the right combinations for the right consistency for the substituted ingredients. The recipe included oats, shredded in the food processor, peanut butter, almond butter, raw honey and dried cranberries. We put them in the fridge to set and the kids picked at them the rest of the day. Colin had to run back upstairs to take screenshots of the glitches he found in Lego Universe so we could compose emails for each one a little later. Since I wasn’t feeling very well, we watched Spongebob for a bit in front of the fire and the kids made comments about how Squidward was not very nice and Mr. Krabs was so cheap, even to his own daughter. They like Spongebob and silly Patrick though. After the episode was over, I decided to pull out the book Stone Soup since it has been a while since I had read it to them. We read it and the kids asked about any words they didn’t know – like scholar, famine, seamstress and merchant. When I had started to read it I had pointed out the picture of the Great Wall of China in the illustration. Colin asked more about it. How long is it? Where exactly is it on the map? And the questions kept coming so I grabbed my netbook and we visited these websites: Kidspast.com, Google images search for the Great Wall of China and Ancient China for Kids. 12:30 Lunch! The kids decided on pasta, Bouncy Tea and the popsicles they had made. Right after we were done eating, we picked a movie. By now my throat and ears weren’t doing too well so I needed downtime! The kids picked one of our favorites – Shark Boy and Lava Girl! After the movie, I told the kids we needed to finish planning our vegetable garden and get a final decision on what we are going to grow so we can order the seeds. We went back through the catalogs. Then I opened my gardening books, since they have fantastic illustrations, to talk to them about how we need to plant everything. I showed them what crop rotation and companion planting was about and the kids helped figure out where we need to put the seeds this year. Next Keira wanted some one on one time with me so we played with her stuffed Care Bears while Ethan and Colin went back up to play Lego Universe together. They both have accounts and wanted to help each other do something in the game. After about an hour, I asked the kids if they wanted me to show them how to do watercolor painting like the illustrations in Stone Soup. By now the kids were hungry, again!, and asked for pizza. So we made pizza! Keira then decided she wanted to watch Team Umizoomi and Ethan said he’d watch it with her. Colin wanted me to show him how to use YouTube on the old iPhone dad gave him for Christmas; to use as an iTouch. He wanted to be able to listen to Metroid music he could only find on YouTube. By now I wanted to get the kids outside for some air even though it was pretty cold. We bundled up, I grabbed the drill, tree taps and buckets and we went out to tap maple trees. After doing that and playing outside for a while, the kids were getting cold and hungry so we went in for dinner. My husband had left by now to go pick up Jody from Movie Club, so I just fed the three of them. Tonight they asked for spaghetti tacos. After dinner, I sat down with Colin and we emailed those screenshots over to my computer so we could compose emails to the Lego Universe tech support team. (We are very happy to say that the glitches were fixed by the next morning!) The other two watched Avatar - The Last Airbender, the tv series, while we did that. The kids were getting sleepy around 9;00 and so, after their typical giggling and messing around for a half hour, I made sure they had brushed their teeth. In the meantime, I put on some dinner for John and I, and put some extra on for Jody even though I knew John had brought him a pizza on his way to the shoot tonight. Just as the kids were getting settled down, at 9:45, Jody gets home with John. Keira fell asleep on the couch while we ate. I got to talk to Jody for a little while after that since I had to remove his movie make up; using my moisturizer because I keep forgetting to get remover. We also had to do a little costume repair because he was acting again the next day. He got to bed at 11pm and John and I very soon after. There you have it. No two days are ever the same and this day was a perfect example of how the kids are always learning. And in case I get the question from someone who really thinks it matters, they do close to 100% on their year-end standardized testing. But we ALL know those tests don't measure ANY of the learning the kids really did. That's a topic for another day! | Intuitive Parenting takes parenting to a whole new level of personal responsibility and empowerment through rising above your personal history and society's expectations to help you become the parent you want to be. You already have the power to do this, sometimes you may just need a reminder! Topics covered include: how to parent intuitively, homeschooling and unschooling, passion-led learning, attachment parenting as well as many day in the life stories and intuitive parenting moments.
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