Recently our 10 year-old son, Colin, discovered we had the original Halo for our old Xbox.  He saw it in storage and asked me if he could play it.  After checking the rating on it, and seeing that it was rated M, I told him that I didn’t think it was appropriate for his age due to violence, language or intensity but I wasn't sure so I’d ask dad about it.  Since I don’t have very much time, or desire for that matter, to play video games anymore I rely on published reviews and friends’ opinions on the appropriateness of certain games.  This was one game that I heard mentioned within some gaming circles as not necessarily deserving of the “Mature” rating.

We ultimately decided to let him play it.  I figured I could watch the kids play it as well as ask them if there was anything that bothered them about it.  After my husband also played it with our son, we decided that our 8 year old, Ethan, was mature enough to play it as well.  I’ll admit that I still had my reservations but I was taking a watch and see sort of approach with it.

About two weeks after the kids started playing it, we had an incident that made me realize that my kids were way more in tune with reality no matter what studies try to show about kids and video games.  It was right after dinner and the six of us were running around the house chasing each other.  Everyone was laughing and having a great time.  We were all at the point where we were out of breath so I decided to run upstairs to check the afternoon’s emails before it got too late.

It was about two minutes later that I hear our four year-old daughter, Keira, crying, and about sixty seconds after that Colin and Ethan came running upstairs with tears in their eyes saying “Dad needs you.”  You can imagine what I started to feel at that instant but I managed to take a deep breath and quickly go downstairs instead of panicking.

As soon as I walked in the kitchen, I was thankful that the first thing I saw was the quarter inch long, tiny cut above Keira’s eye.  If I had seen all of the blood first, I probably would have been as upset as the boys.  She was covered in blood from the top of one side of her head, down her arm and elbow, and down the side of her leg.  My husband was holding her and trying to calm her down so he hadn’t been able to determine where the blood had come from yet.  All I can figure is that since she had just been running around, her blood was really pumping and then when she hit her head of the side of the table, the first thing she most likely did was rub where she hurt herself, spreading the blood everywhere.

I got her cleaned up and put some medicine on her cut which had stopped bleeding just as quickly as it had started.  Then my ten year old looks up at me and says:

“Halo is nowhere near as scary as THAT was!”

My eight year-old, who was standing next to him with big tears in his eyes says, “Yeah!  I thought Keira was going to die.”

I will never, ever wonder if my kids truly understand the difference between video game violence and reality ever again!

(Thankfully, Keira didn’t need any stitches and it looked like a tiny scratch above her eye by the next day.)

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Every single day in our house is different.  I know that’s hard for those who have no idea what homeschooling is about to comprehend.  Hopefully, after you see how things change and progress naturally, you will understand.  Thursday was a perfect example of how one thing just flows into the other and how learning is integrated into our lives.

The week had already begun a little off because I started to feel like I was coming down with a cold so I had to cancel daytime visits with friends.  This is one of the days that we had to cancel so we were home all day.  If we classically homeschooled, meaning "school at home" style, it would look like a schedule, with a list of tasks completed.   I will warn you this is long, because it ISN’T a schedule and, if you are an unschooler, this won’t surprise you. 

My day began at 7:15am, which is earlier than normal, but I wanted to be up to see our 13 year old, Jody, off to his homeschool Movie Club.  They are right in the middle of their 12 hour per day, 10 day shoot.  The kids have been involved in every single part of the process of making a movie.  From deciding the theme, writing and re-writing the script, auditioning for parts, costumes, sets, directing, videography, sound, lighting, directing, etc, etc, and using real equipment, each of the kids get a chance to be involved in every single job beginning to end.  I am SO very grateful for this club because Jody's passion is acting!

After Jody was off, I got myself ready for the day just in time for our other three who also decided to get up a little earlier than usual, at 8:00.  Colin, our 10 year old, jumped right into playing his MMOG game, Lego Universe.  Up until its release date, he was a Lego Universe Beta tester and has discovered more glitches.  Ethan, our 8 year old, was hanging out with him playing with his Bionicles.  And Keira, who is 4, decided it was a Dora The Explorer morning.

After a breakfast of multigrain toast, cantaloupe, and home-made lemonade, Ethan asked if we could make a new drink recipe.  If you have been following my blog long enough, you will remember that I released a book at the end of last year called The Herbal Beverage Book and the kids were my taste testers.  Ethan pulled out the rooibos and nettles and decided those were the two he wanted to use.  We measured the herbs and pure stevia (a natural sweetener); this is where I took the obvious opportunity to use this as a fun fractions lesson.   Ethan even named it – Bouncy Tea!

As soon as we were done with that, Keira noticed the teardrop crystal prism we have hanging in the window was sending rainbows all over the kitchen.  The kids made a game of finding as many rainbow pieces as they could.  Ethan wanted to know how the crystal did that so we talked about refraction and visited this website – Explain That Stuff!

By now Ethan wanted to get Colin off the computer so he decided to draw a bunch of arrows on pieces of orange paper that led from where Colin was, all the way downstairs to where he would hide.  When Colin found him they all played hide and seek.  While the boys did that, Keira brought me one of those learning dolls that have buttons, snaps, zippers and ties and asked me to show her how to tie the shoe again.  She’s getting it really quickly!

By now it’s about 10:00 and the kids are hungry again.  They all agreed on peanut butter and jelly!  (Organic, peanuts only and the same for the fruit spread.  No extra oils, sugars, etc.)  I have to say that this was a rare food day.  They normally do not all pick the same thing to eat!

After they were done, Keira was absolutely thrilled to receive her first piece of mail!  She got a Thank You card from her friend Zoe!  Keira had me buy a duplicate of a stuffed animal she wanted from the store to give to her.  This turned into a discussion about how great getting a Thank You makes you feel, even when the person thanked you at the time they received the gift.  This reminded Ethan that he needed to send some for his birthday party gifts.  He decided it would be a good day to work on them.

After that the kids wanted to make some popsicles with the lemonade we had.  We found some frozen raspberries and filled the molds for a snack for later. 

Since we seemed to be in a cooking mode already, Colin suggested that we take one of the raw snack recipes we had tried the week before and change the ingredients.  We made almond, peanut, cranberry, oat balls; which included more measuring, dividing fractions and figuring out the right combinations for the right consistency for the substituted ingredients.  The recipe included oats, shredded in the food processor, peanut butter, almond butter, raw honey and dried cranberries.  We put them in the fridge to set and the kids picked at them the rest of the day.

Colin had to run back upstairs to take screenshots of the glitches he found in Lego Universe so we could compose emails for each one a little later.  Since I wasn’t feeling very well, we watched Spongebob for a bit in front of the fire and the kids made comments about how Squidward was not very nice and Mr. Krabs was so cheap, even to his own daughter.  They like Spongebob and silly Patrick though.

After the episode was over, I decided to pull out the book Stone Soup since it has been a while since I had read it to them.  We read it and the kids asked about any words they didn’t know – like scholar, famine, seamstress and merchant.  When I had started to read it I had pointed out the picture of the Great Wall of China in the illustration.  Colin asked more about it.  How long is it?  Where exactly is it on the map?  And the questions kept coming so I grabbed my netbook and we visited these websites: Kidspast.com, Google images search for the Great Wall of China and Ancient China for Kids.

12:30 Lunch!  The kids decided on pasta, Bouncy Tea and the popsicles they had made.  Right after we were done eating, we picked a movie.  By now my throat and ears weren’t doing too well so I needed downtime!  The kids picked one of our favorites – Shark Boy and Lava Girl!

After the movie, I told the kids we needed to finish planning our vegetable garden and get a final decision on what we are going to grow so we can order the seeds.  We went back through the catalogs.  Then I opened my gardening books, since they have fantastic illustrations, to talk to them about how we need to plant everything.  I showed them what crop rotation and companion planting was about and the kids helped figure out where we need to put the seeds this year.

Next Keira wanted some one on one time with me so we played with her stuffed Care Bears while Ethan and Colin went back up to play Lego Universe together.  They both have accounts and wanted to help each other do something in the game.  After about an hour, I asked the kids if they wanted me to show them how to do watercolor painting like the illustrations in Stone Soup.

By now the kids were hungry, again!, and asked for pizza.  So we made pizza!

Keira then decided she wanted to watch Team Umizoomi and Ethan said he’d watch it with her.  Colin wanted me to show him how to use YouTube on the old iPhone dad gave him for Christmas; to use as an iTouch.  He wanted to be able to listen to Metroid music he could only find on YouTube.

By now I wanted to get the kids outside for some air even though it was pretty cold.  We bundled up, I grabbed the drill, tree taps and buckets and we went out to tap maple trees.  After doing that and playing outside for a while, the kids were getting cold and hungry so we went in for dinner.  My husband had left by now to go pick up Jody from Movie Club, so I just fed the three of them.  Tonight they asked for spaghetti tacos.

After dinner, I sat down with Colin and we emailed those screenshots over to my computer so we could compose emails to the Lego Universe tech support team.  (We are very happy to say that the glitches were fixed by the next morning!)  The other two watched Avatar - The Last Airbender, the tv series, while we did that.

The kids were getting sleepy around 9;00 and so, after their typical giggling and messing around for a half hour, I made sure they had brushed their teeth.  In the meantime, I put on some dinner for John and I, and put some extra on for Jody even though I knew John had brought him a pizza on his way to the shoot tonight.  Just as the kids were getting settled down, at 9:45, Jody gets home with John.  Keira fell asleep on the couch while we ate. 

I got to talk to Jody for a little while after that since I had to remove his movie make up; using my moisturizer because I keep forgetting to get remover.  We also had to do a little costume repair because he was acting again the next day.  He got to bed at 11pm and John and I very soon after.

There you have it.  No two days are ever the same and this day was a perfect example of how the kids are always learning.  And in case I get the question from someone who really thinks it matters, they do close to 100% on their year-end standardized testing.  But we ALL know those tests don't measure ANY of the learning the kids really did.  That's a topic for another day!

The YouTube Video above is what I promised I'd share the other day!  This is my husband's band's original "Adrenaline Addiction."  The band did all of the recording and mixing as well as the video editing themselves.  The camera operator was the friend of ours (and her 16 year old son) who produced the video I shared in my last post What is Homeschooling? An introduction.

Even though we are all about our family, John, and I place a high priority on setting a good example for the kids.  This is just one way that John shows the kids that if you want to pursue your passion, don't let anything stop you.

Tomorrow.... My post will be about how we spent our day Thursday!

I’m not a classical homeschooler because…

I have tried math curriculums that were continuous repetition, year after year, of the same sort of material in the most removed from life way possible.

I tried a phonics & reading homeschool co-op with my 2nd born, and it was no different than school where he didn’t get much individualized attention, even though there were only a handful of kids, so I pulled him from it even though I had already paid.

I purchased a science curriculum and saw how disjointed it was in teaching units as if “science” disciplines were all separate, so I returned it.

I purchased a history curriculum and had to filter out propaganda and fill in missing details which meant I had to redo the lessons the night before I started.

I wanted to have time to teach them basic life skills that all of the above would have prevented me from doing if I strictly followed the classical approach.

I wanted to be able to allow them as much time as they need to pursue their own interests and develop their own strengths and no curriculum is the perfect fit for that.

I could go on with how I discovered this wasn't a good fit for us but I completely support you if that is what you feel is best for your family.

I’m not an un-parenting unschooler because…

I don’t think it’s up to them if they brush their teeth or not.

I learned as much as I can about food and health that I don’t think it’s ok for them to eat as much junk as they want.  I teach them about what’s in their food and where it comes from, purchase only the best and say “No” at the checkout when they ask for candy… usually.

I know how much sleep each of them requires to feel good and be healthy.   I know which ones won’t sleep in to compensate no matter how late they go to bed.  I know that my oldest takes after my husband and I and can easily stay up all night, losing track of time, and will miss on out the things he wants to do.  I refuse to set him up for the harsh, “tough love” life lesson of letting him miss out. 

I choose to teach each of them about things like history, religions of the world, science, literature, how to manage money, and much, much more using whatever sources I need, in a way that each of them can get excited about and in a way that each of them can understand at each of their own development levels and learning styles.

I choose to expose them to things that they may not necessarily choose for themselves because they are too young to know anything about it and most often they really enjoy the new experiences or learning that resulted.

These are at least some of my reasons why un-parenting unschooling doesn’t work for us, but I completely support you if that is what you feel is best for your family.  I believe following what's best for you is part of your own unique process.

So what am I?  I am a mom that chose to give our kids the kind of life and the kind of learning opportunities I feel they deserve; all of which fits their personalities, development levels and learning styles.  No one loves them or wants the best for them more than my husband and I do.  I choose to not follow anyone’s prepackaged plan for raising our children.  One size will never fit all and I am grateful to live in a country where that is possible.

I love how….

My kids wake up with smiles on their faces every single day.

They give us hugs and say "I love you." whenever they feel like it; even our teenage son!

They get the sleep they need when they feel tired.

They can eat when they need to, and since we offer them a variety of foods, they can choose what their body needs.

They know they have two parents who will do anything for them; although we have never gone out of our way to say that.  It’s something they just know.

They can follow any interest that they want, as far as they want to take it.

They rarely say the phrase “I don’t know.” in response to a question because they know it’s safe to tell us what they are thinking.

They are comfortable knowing that their house is “our” house as a family.

They live free from the fear of punishments but instead have learned that their actions have real impacts on the people around them.

They know kindness because they are constantly surrounded by it.

They know respect because they are treated with respect.

They know appreciation because they have grateful parents.

They have that “light” in their eyes, even when they are being serious.

... These are my most meaningful measures as to how I am doing as a parent.  These things are also my evidence that just because I didn't experience any of these things myself as a child, doesn't mean that our kids have to continue the cycle. 

We went to see one of the Music as a Weapon shows in Portland, Maine last night and were fortunate enough to go as Guests because of my husband’s tie to the music industry and the people he has had the pleasure of getting to know over the years.  I am just lucky enough to have been able to meet some of these people as well; musicians, engineers, producers, tour managers and other industry folks.  From our time spent hanging out with the guys from Sevendust, the night was such an important reminder to me of how I want to show the kids that the most fulfilling way to live is with passion.

We have met a lot of people from a variety of different bands over the years, and the guys from Sevendust still stand out as being some of the most passionate musicians I’ve been around. Listening to Sevendust’s guitarist John Connolly speak with my husband (who’s also a guitarist) about guitar gear, alternate tunings, and song writing, it was clear how much love he has for what he does each day.   The band’s dedication to what they do also shows through how incredibly appreciative they are of their fans.  It’s one thing to be on stage and say “Thanks for coming!” and another to take a moment to personally thank you for your support, speak with you and give you an autograph or photo op.  These guys treat their fans with the utmost respect only to say how blessed they are to be doing what they love to do.  They give every single performance 110% and last night was a testament to that.   Although they have eight studio albums to their name, they remain true to their music, and that is exactly what their fans love about them.

The night was a reminder that I want my kids to see that the way to live your life is by doing what you love because you enjoy it and not because your only goal is to try to get to a certain destination – particularly fame, money and tons of “friends.”  Most importantly, last night was a reminder to love what you do so much you just have to share it with everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

I want to be very clear to all of you about something.  I am not, or ever intend to be a self proclaimed or "ordained by society" parenting expert.  I am only here to write about my experiences in an effort to share what has worked and hasn’t worked for me.  If you can gain a different perspective or see an idea you’d like to try, then great!  If you completely disagree with anything I say or believe that nothing I share has any benefit to you other than the fact that you know you don’t want to do things the way I have, then that is just as perfect.  Either way I don’t feel like I am wasting my time here.  Everything I share is solely my opinion and my viewpoint and I am not here to seek validation.

So here’s for my opinion part:  I believe parenting is a process, just like any other relationship, but often more complex because we each have a unique perspective regarding who our children are, how they learn, what their personality traits are as well as what their strengths are.  I believe you betray your relationship with your child when you parent in a way that doesn’t feel completely right to you.  I’m not saying that you can’t try different things to see if they work for you but what I am talking about is adopting a parenting “method” that you feel coerced into or uncomfortable with for any reason.

I believe, the most effective and quickest way of disconnecting from your kids can happen through adopting a new parenting style that is not grounded in the relationship you desire to have with your kids just because you read a book or took a seminar.  If it doesn’t feel right to you right now, don’t do it.  Also if you are considering a new parenting style, be sure you have conversations with people who have already tried it.  And I am not talking about those that have very young ones that have been doing it only for a few months.  Talk to as many people as you can to get the full picture from those that have done it for at least a few years.  These are the people that can tell you the pros and cons, what worked and what didn’t – not someone who decided that their way is the right way and who is interested in either self promoting or who wants others to do what they are doing because they need the validation.

Self-proclaimed or society-ordained “gurus” are probably the biggest offenders for undermining your parenting.  They most often give the worst kind of advice because many, at a certain point, start adopting a god-complex and act as if they have all of the answers for you.  Sometimes self-promoters don’t always have the healthiest intentions in doing what they do.  Don’t give your power away to them and let their opinions rule your life or make you feel guilty in any way.  Especially the ones that do go out of their way to make snide or passive aggressive comments about parents “like you” in order to manipulate you to feel like you are the one missing something. While you don’t always have to dismiss them completely don’t let their strict definitions constrict your life.  Take what may help you and ignore the rest.

     I don’t believe in deciding what is right for other parents especially since parenting has a tendency to expose people’s vulnerabilities at times.  When parents feel unsure of themselves and vulnerable (and we all do at one time or another) they are more apt to be taken advantage of by unscrupulous people who need to feel that what they are doing is the right way, so they proselytize and gain followers.  (Isn’t that what cultists do?)  I refuse to do that or endorse anyone else who does.  I parent through being connected to my kids.  If you can find a way to do that through your own unique parenting style, which will most likely be different than mine in more ways than one, then you are on the right track.

     Above all, I believe that you need to find your own style that works for you and your kids.  If you don’t feel right about certain aspects of your relationship with your kids, stop making things more complicated than they need to be by looking elsewhere for answers all the time.  You need to take responsibility.  I know for some parents, it’s more frightening to take responsibility than to run through a list of everything they “tried” and then be able to blame everyone else, or worse, their child, when none of those things worked.

     Our kids are not from a different species than we are.  They are not pets and we don't need to pick up a book to learn more about them.  It is much more simple.  You need to remember what it was like to BE a kid, without projecting your own childhood “stuff” on them, and you need to always be focused on how much you love them.  If you try something and it doesn’t work don’t be bitter and hold onto blame.  You chose to do it and simply ignored your own reservations or didn’t get enough of the full story before you tried it.  Everything will have pros and cons for you and only you can determine what those are not matter how anyone else presents their viewpoint.  You have the power to find what works best for you!

To start out the new year, I thought it might be a great idea to tell you a little more about me and my parenting philosophy as well as put forth a mission statement of what I’d like to accomplish on the blog this year. I have had a recent influx of new subscribers over the past few months and my About Me is nowhere near long enough!  There are most likely several things that you don't know about me that have a major influence over what I'd like to accomplish this year.  Here is what you should know ...

When I began my parenting journey, over 13 years ago, I really felt like I didn’t know very much about being a parent since I had a very dysfunctional upbringing; and that is quite an understatement at that! From the time I was pregnant with our first I was able to see parenting in a very different light than even most of my friends at the time. Even though this could be very isolating at times, I knew I was doing what was right for me and my child. Right off the bat, I was a natural child-birthing, self-weaning, bed-sharing nursing momma... and the only one I knew! It wasn’t until my son was about 3 years old and read one of Dr. Sears’s books that I felt so relieved to discover I wasn’t alone in my choices. I remember actually thinking “Attachment parenting!?! So that’s what it called!” Since then I have had 3 more kids and the last two were born at home with trained midwives.

We also began our homeschool journey along the way and my kids have never been in a traditional school. I have gone through a lot of deschooling of myself over the past decade and have purchased many different curriculums; and many of those were started but never finished. (Thank you eBay for the opportunity to get some of my money back!) Admittedly, as a child I was an overachiever who loved school but I realized that the reasons for that was more about it being a refuge from home and not that I loved the schools themselves; although, I did somehow manage to keep my love of learning but again that was most likely my own form of escape at the time. If I were such a believer in the whole systemic, institutional approach to “learning”, I most likely wouldn’t have been able to see that by the time my first was born was turning 3, the whole thing is simply forced and backwards!

I have become a much more evolved parent than I ever imagined I could be, all the while learning that I do know best even when it was a trial by fire situation that tested my resolve; like when my well-meaning pediatrician tried to convince me that I need to use a crib or when a well-meaning relative felt like I was being abusive in not giving my children acetaminophen for a fever. And at other times when I looked at the entire picture of documented, scientific findings in my decision to not let the dentist put fluoride on the kids’ teeth nor let the doctor shoot the kids up with any more vaccinations.

All along the way I have learned more and more that parenting is not something you do to your kids. Parenting is about your relationship with them. You don’t train them! They are human beings with very individual needs, desires, personalities, and natural talents. I find that using a “method” of parenting on them is kind of funny on one hand, and completely controlling and useless on the other. I have also learned a lot about the extent of punishment I received as a child, aside from the obvious abusiveness that occurred, was also simply manipulative and had absolutely nothing to do with the “crime” so to speak. I have learned to trust natural consequences more, when appropriate of course. I have also chosen to not let some things to be left to natural consequences – like running across a parking lot, tooth brushing, eating healthy, getting the sleep each of them requires and fighting between siblings. Those may seem like common sense but I do not want to let any confusion linger about my style since I do know parents that may choose natural consequences for those things as well. Above all, I have learned that what I have been doing all along is trusting my intuition, even when I didn’t have the proof at the time that I was right, and continually developing it especially when it has come to my kids.

Now there is another part of who I am that I cannot leave out. Even though I had shared this aspect of myself on one of my first blogs, over a year ago, I have still been very guarded and a little unsure of how to proceed. I realize that in order for me to fully help others on their journey it is something I need to find a way to share. From as long as I could remember I have had intuitive, most people call it “psychic”, abilities. They became fine-tuned when I needed to use them as a way to survive a very tough childhood. It wasn’t until I was a parent that I truly realized the extent of my abilities. It was in having my own babies, that couldn’t speak, that I realized that I truly did “know” a lot more than a lot of people did. I believe that anyone can be an intuitive parent if they choose to be and all it takes is practice, focus and dedicated intention. My own intent is to merge my parenting experience and my abilities to help other parents take control of their own families and realize they have the power to have a peaceful, happy and complete home life. That is exactly why I have called this blog The Intuitive Parent.

As for my mission statement for the year, I hope to continually focus helping other parents trust themselves in making the right decisions when it comes to their own children, even when they feel like the world may be against them. I want to help parents find the courage to stand up for themselves in doing what is best for their family, no matter how other people are doing things. Most importantly, I want to make parents realize that how they feel influences their parenting more than they ever imagined, no matter what words come out of their mouth or whatever actions they choose to have.

About a year ago I had this "crazy" idea to write a kid friendly herbal beverage book that would appeal to people that already enjoyed making their own herbal teas as well as those that are more mainstream and completely new to the concept.  It  took me a while to take myself seriously enough to do it, but 9 months ago I finally made the decision to start working on it.  I got my kids involved as taste testers and started doing some research into kid friendly herbs like hibiscus, chamomile, fennel, nettles, etc.  I also wanted to simplify making herbal teas so that people who were new to it wouldn't think things like "I can't do that."  or "Why would I bother."  It's not much more complicated than making lemonade and the recipes are healthy, simple and all of them were approved by the kids.  I knew I was on the right track when my usually super picky, sugar-loving 10 year old asked for a second cup of my Throat Tea for the sore throat he had and I didn't have to add any sweetener to it.

I couldn't be happier that my own project is prompting my kids to start creating!  After seeing the website I put up for the book, my 13 year old has decided to create his own animations to post on his own website.  And after receiving the first self-published copy of the book today, my 10 year old wants to write his own recipe book.  Maybe my next blog post will be an announcement of the works my kids have completed to share with you!

I am taking pre-orders for my book at www.theherbalbeveragebook.com.  (No account will be charged until I ship; which will be in 1 to 2 weeks.)  The book gives you recipes for making your own herbal teas, broths, milks, lemonades, smoothies, cocoas and syrups.  I also gave you a simple guide in the back of the book regarding the traditional uses for each of the herbs.  A few of the recipes included are Chocolate Chai, Ginger Cocoa, Elderberry Syrup and Cough Tea. 

My kids and I have learned a LOT during the past 9 months of writing this & I really hope anyone who orders the book enjoys not only how the recipes taste but also how much symptom relief you can get from them.

I used to have a habit of putting my desire to have my children appear to have a full social and academic life before whether or not certain things would actually achieve any positive result.  My oldest had made this habit way too easy for me because he would agree to do everything without really thinking about if he really wanted to do it.  This type of living lead to busyness and looking like we had a full life, but did we really?  Does busyness mean that everyone is happy and experiencing everything they want to experience?  I quickly learned that evidence of my own impatience and any stress from the kids meant that we needed to stop saying yes to everything and really see if everyone really is excited about participating.

I have been able to stop myself every time I felt the urge to sign one of my kids up for a class or field trip and ask them they would enjoy it.  I have also made a point of having less structured time and more “open time” for the kids to pursue what they feel like doing.  Last summer, I heard “I’m bored.” so much more often.  This summer?   Hardly ever!

I was raised much like most of you where the quantifiable results that you can put down on paper meant more than what was actually learned.  This is a very bad habit of thinking to break.  Now I have gotten really good at seeing the worth of time spent doing something, even if it’s just for the enjoyment of it.  If I have no set agenda of what I want to teach the kids about something, they learn so much more and this comes through their own curiosity and my willingness to help them satisfy it.

Yesterday was a perfect example.  I had absolutely no set plans for the day apart from a couple of things on my personal to do list.  One of the boys had mentioned on our walk through the woods a couple of days ago that he wanted to come back with a pickax and get some of the snow quartz jutting out of some boulders we found.  Yesterday afternoon, the five of us set out with a small pickax and a bucket.  We ended up gathering some nice chunks of the quartz and seeing some other types of beautiful minerals in the boulders as well.  This lead to tons of questions the kids wanted answered that we are still working on!  One of the boulders we found has so much perfect snow quartz along the top of it that it lead to one of the kids asking how much we could get if we broke it off in one large chunk.

I know all too well that if I decided to make a parent-lead teaching session out of it, I would have made them wait to get their questions answered because of my own agenda.  Instead of me telling them all that I knew or researched then asking them questions about what I told them, I let THEM ask the questions.  If I don’t know all of the answers, I pull out my iPhone and look it up on the spot. 

Yesterday was a great example of how we live and learn the best!  It was easy, peaceful, unplanned and didn’t feel at all like a struggle.