For a year and a half I have been blogging about parenting.  However the continued positive feedback I have received has been evenly split between those that are parents and those that aren't.  From heartfelt emails from teenagers to comments from single ladies in their thirties without children, I have seen that I have touched a much wider audience than I had ever expected to. 

My biggest surprise came last year when my husband called to tell me that a customer called him from out of state and asked if he was related to me.  The customer, of course, had some work related questions but wanted to mention that he and his wife had been thinking about school for their child and was able to find their own way with the help of a couple of things I had written about.  My blog was shared with them by someone in their local homeschool community.  Needless to say, I almost dropped my cell phone!

From that moment on I realized the true impact of anything I wrote about.  I also realized that my inner drive to keep writing was something I needed to honor by continuing to write.  With that said I have to admit I write a lot more than I post.  Most of it ends up sitting in a folder because I am unsure of whether or not it will serve the highest good of my readers.  My usual gauge is to note how I am feeling when I write it.  If it's not something I am nervously excited about then I know that's not my post for the day.  I understand the power of my words and I do not ever want to sway someone to do something that could change their or their child's life forever in any negative way.  Sure there are people out there just looking for any excuse to not take responsibility for themselves but I will not willingly put anything out there knowing that it may be easy fodder for someone like that.

In taking all of this into account I am starting a new writing journey.  I have wanted to write my own story for many years now but couldn't envision how it could help anyone.  About a month ago I had written a new About The Author where I shared a little more about who I am and how I became the parent I am today.  The emails started pouring in.  Little did I realize that my life experiences and what I learned from them were enough.  That is what drives me to continually be a better parent.  And that is what drives me to write.  And so my new journey begins where I take all of it and write about it not only for myself, but all of you who continue to inspire me to keep going.

About a year ago I had this "crazy" idea to write a kid friendly herbal beverage book that would appeal to people that already enjoyed making their own herbal teas as well as those that are more mainstream and completely new to the concept.  It  took me a while to take myself seriously enough to do it, but 9 months ago I finally made the decision to start working on it.  I got my kids involved as taste testers and started doing some research into kid friendly herbs like hibiscus, chamomile, fennel, nettles, etc.  I also wanted to simplify making herbal teas so that people who were new to it wouldn't think things like "I can't do that."  or "Why would I bother."  It's not much more complicated than making lemonade and the recipes are healthy, simple and all of them were approved by the kids.  I knew I was on the right track when my usually super picky, sugar-loving 10 year old asked for a second cup of my Throat Tea for the sore throat he had and I didn't have to add any sweetener to it.

I couldn't be happier that my own project is prompting my kids to start creating!  After seeing the website I put up for the book, my 13 year old has decided to create his own animations to post on his own website.  And after receiving the first self-published copy of the book today, my 10 year old wants to write his own recipe book.  Maybe my next blog post will be an announcement of the works my kids have completed to share with you!

I am taking pre-orders for my book at www.theherbalbeveragebook.com.  (No account will be charged until I ship; which will be in 1 to 2 weeks.)  The book gives you recipes for making your own herbal teas, broths, milks, lemonades, smoothies, cocoas and syrups.  I also gave you a simple guide in the back of the book regarding the traditional uses for each of the herbs.  A few of the recipes included are Chocolate Chai, Ginger Cocoa, Elderberry Syrup and Cough Tea. 

My kids and I have learned a LOT during the past 9 months of writing this & I really hope anyone who orders the book enjoys not only how the recipes taste but also how much symptom relief you can get from them.

      I really like writers who write just to write.  Not for an audience.  Not to get blog traffic.  Not to impress others.  They write because they feel something they want to share.  There are a couple of my blogs that I have written that people absolutely loved, evidenced by their personal emails to me, and yet “I” knew that they weren’t written for me.  They were written because I had set a goal for myself to write a blog that day and I didn’t want to publish something people wouldn’t like. 

      Well, I got what I asked for!  While I am appreciative that people liked the blogs, I was kicking myself for publishing them in the first place.  The positive reinforcement for writing something that wasn’t authentically who I was actually irritated me because I knew I was just betraying myself.  I’m not some gushy writer who loves to illustrate using generalizations and symbolism.  While I do like reading other people that enjoy writing like that, I have had a very ‘real’ life and writing about anything not down to earth, tangible and even a little gritty, just isn’t me.  So I decided to take some time off of blogging. 

      Since my last blog a month ago, I decided that a lot of things were getting out of my control and keeping me from being creative.  Not only my blogs, but a lot of other things were influencing me, instead of me influencing them.  I didn’t like the direction my book was taking yet I was convincing myself that I was just being too critical at the time and to just go with something I wasn’t going to be happy with.  A lot of other little things were becoming overcomplicated distractions and I needed time to simplify.  I needed to even simplify things in my house.  I was tired of walking by stuff that made me feel some sort of negative emotion, however small, and it got beyond annoying when those dozen or so things multiplied daily and I could never seem to catch up. 

      So I am back.  I refocused and completely reorganized my book to a vision of something I would actually want to buy instead of the repetitive mess it was.  I still have more brainstorming to do but I am totally happy with the direction now.  I reprioritized my personal life to include a babysitter that my kids love, and that my husband I appreciate as well since we are now able to go out and have adult time for the first time in four years.  There are still a few more things I need to start scheduling time for but I am finally listening to myself and not letting other things or meaningless obligations dictate my life.  I have four kids and a marriage (and my best friend, aka husband) that I am totally dedicated to so if something isn’t a positive influence on my life, it goes!

      Is there something in your life that needs to go too?  Get real!  Join me.

      Last night, as some of you already know, I attended a writing teleclass conducted by Kerri Richardson; the same writing coach as the in-person workshop I went to last month.  Even though the first class helped me immensely, I still have some blocks I need help with.  I emailed a few of the blocks I have been recently running into and was looking forward to getting some inspiration for dealing with them.

(As a side note, her next month’s class topic is on blogging so check it out http://kerririchardson.com/get-help-from-kerri/#online.) 

      I realized last night that the blocks I thought I was stuck on really aren’t holding me back as much I thought.  Yeah, finding the time has been a biggie, but as you see I have been managing somehow.  Even as I have been sitting here, my 3 year old grabbed my writing notebook and is doodling next to me, copying mommy, and giving me a few moments to write this.  I think the kids already realize that this is important time for mom and it doesn’t take that long.  I don’t think I realized what my biggest problem was until Kerri mentioned running away from a part of your project and looking at why.  That hit me like a brick and it was obviously what I needed to hear.

      You see, my true desire is to write my story and there are several of you that know some of it.  Over the years I have had friends that I have told it to and their responses have usually been “You should write a book.” (And once I even got “That sounds like a Dr. Phil Show story.”  Uh…  No thanks!)  I have sat down countless, and I mean countless times, completely driven and inspired to write about it.  By the time I would get a page or two done, I would be either in tears or completely pissed off and they would usually just end up in the trash.  I understand that this has been my process, a pretty unfruitful one at that, but I didn’t realize why I couldn’t get any further, at ten whole years later!

      All of this time I was judging myself for not getting any further, even to the point of thinking I just needed to be one of those all-forgiving, let it all go, forgive and forget types.  I just needed to live in the moment and not “let the past define me”.  I don’t know about you but my past has made me the kind of parent I am today, and the kind of spouse and friend I am as well.  The lessons I can share about what I have gone through are valuable.  I have known that yet I was still unable to write about them.

      Last night I realized that the “why” of running away from writing it down wasn’t because of some flaw with me but with my support system.  I have been Mrs. Independent, super homeschooling mom of four, growing our own organic garden, who can even rebuild a car engine type of gal!  Me?  Need help from someone besides my husband?

      So, yes… I admit it.  I need a personal support system to write this book.  I need to be able to write a few pages and NOT toss them in the trash but give them to someone to read so I have the courage to keep going.  I know my reconnecting with a few of my oldest friends since moving back to New England is going to help.  And I have been incredibly fortunate to have met some really great new friends in the past year.  Maybe deep down, it is because of the new support I now have that I can feel like I am ready to do this.