I understand how there is a belief in the unschooling community that kids should be allowed to eat whatever they want and whenever they want.  While I really like all of the other aspects of unschooling I just can’t get myself to the point of not controlling the food my kids eat.  I know that a part of it is because I have a weight problem and I just don’t want my kids to follow in my footsteps.  What is your opinion on this?  (Question submitted via email)
 

 
I have been asked to do a kids and food blog many times.  I have been a little resistant to do so because food tends to be a very emotional issue with people.  Some of those issues go back to how food was a part of family life growing up and for others there are health related concerns.  The only way I can answer this question is to tell you a little about my own relationship with food and how I apply that to raising my kids.

I have to start by saying that I LOVE food!  If I had the time to spend all afternoon cooking every day I would.  It is because of my love for food that I am not a big fan of processed and chemically laden food.  I don’t think it tastes good and most often I don’t feel very good after I eat it.  Being in tune with how my body feels when I eat has always been my norm.

As far as my own history goes, a large variety of food was not an everyday part of life growing up.  In fact I would get in huge trouble if the fresh fruit or veggies that were brought into the house were eaten too quickly.  I do have to say that even though I experienced a lack of food choices, I don’t overindulge as a result of it.  I understand that I could have gone down that particular path as a way of emotionally processing that feeling of lack but this has not been my personal reality.  I have never had an issue with my weight nor do I believe in dieting.

I believe that everyone’s bodies need different nutrients at different times.  I also believe that food cravings are directly linked to that in some way.  My kids do eat what they want and when they want.  I try to have as much variety available to them as I can.  They have a good understanding of what foods have lots of nutrients and which don’t.  I encourage them to give their bodies what they need but as a rule I do not control what they eat and when they eat.  They have had cookies for breakfast before but I will tell you that it’s a rarity.  That just isn’t a regular choice of theirs.  I also NEVER, EVER force them to eat food they don't like.  I feel that this is abusive.  The "One more bite." method that is forced on a lot of kids teaches them to ignore the fact that their body is telling them to stop eating.  If they don't want a food in a particular moment then they don't need it.

I also do take into account how my kids feel when they eat and help them tune into that.  My youngest has a food coloring sensitivity.  I had the opportunity to see this in action once again yesterday.  She had some candy at a friend’s birthday party and didn’t feel good for a while after she ate it.  I try to restrict that chemical in our food knowing that it doesn’t make her feel good.  I also am aware that she may outgrow this sensitivity so that is why I let her have the candy yesterday.  I wasn’t automatically expecting a reaction but saw that she obviously still has it.

As far as what works for you and your family, I feel that you have to find your own balance.  If you realize that you don’t have a healthy attitude towards food yourself, work on that first.  As you know, I am a big believer in setting the example that we want our kids to follow.  Some people really dupe themselves into thinking that the “do as I say, not as I do” example works.  All that creates is an attitude where your child is waiting to grow up to get ”their turn” in following in your footsteps.