It sounds like an impossible task to live in a neat house when you are a family of six and all of us are home.  As you know, my four kids are homeschooled.  My husband also has a home office.  When everyone is home it does mean more dishes, more clutter and more messes.  When we aren't home, just as much mess is created in prepping things to bring with us when we leave, such as food for all of us and bags of things to keep the kids occupied or toys to share with friends.  It also means a lot of laundry!  It sounds undo-able.

It's not!  Although it has changed a bit since I took the photo, that is a photo of our art and music room.  As you can gather, I also don't live in a small house so keeping all rooms from becoming dumping grounds can definitely be a challenge.

I need things to be neat, clean and at least mostly organized to function.  For me, a clean house allows me to think more clearly.  Visual clutter is also mental clutter.  Try this... Notice the thoughts that run through your mind when you walk into a room.  Notice what catches your eye.  I'll bet you'll notice that you do have mental clutter because of any physical clutter - it comes in the form of a fleeting mental note of "I really should wipe that paint off the wall." and "What kind of grit did I just step on?"  Because of this, if things get out of hand, I feel myself shut down and want to escape to a clean room.  If my energy is low, once in a while I do just that.  But knowing it's still there waiting for me doesn't let me relax long and makes me more anxious.

So how does it all get done?  My kids do not have chores.  My husband does not have a "honey do" list to look forward to every Saturday.  We have company on a regular basis and there is no way I would let someone in my house if it weren't clean because I like to make my guests feel welcome and comfortable.  Neither of us have an OCD issue with cleanliness and we know better than to have inappropriately high expectations of just how clean everything is.  So how do we do it?  It sounds a little crazy but we take it one day at a time.  Between my husband and I, the kitchen is always cleaned up by the end of the day.  We only let the clutter get to a certain point before we pick it up, but we do try to keep up with it every day. 

My kids are also most comfortable and creative when things are clean.  Even though they don't have chores, they do help out.  How many fourteen year old boys do you know notice that mom is out in the garden moving a dirt pile and decides to grab a shovel to help out?  Mine does!  His siblings notice and join in too!  Sure, one or two of them at any one time will go through a phase where they just don't feel like helping, but it passes and they help again.  If I see that one of the kids isn't busy, I ask for help if I need it and most of the time they do what I ask without giving me attitude.  I know that forcing it on them will just backfire.  If they aren't driven to do it themselves by an internal feeling of satisfaction, then they won't follow through.

They key for us is that we have a lot of little habits that only take minutes and are a normal part of our day.  All of the little habits add up to help keep our house clean.  Here are some simple steps that have worked for us:

Don't go upstairs empty handed. Same goes for going downstairs or just going from one room to another.

Never go to bed with a sink full of dirty dishes.

Shoes come off at the door.

While waiting for something to cook, wipe down an appliance or clean off a shelf in the fridge.

Make a goal of one load of laundry per day.

Do a nightly floor check where dirty clothes are picked up and thrown in the hampers.

Mail is sorted literally the moment it comes in the door and is done next to the trashcan.  Don't even open the junk mail!

... I could list a lot more but you get the idea.

If you are feeling overwhelmed and would love some action steps to take to get yourself and your family on the way to being more organized, I have a great site to help get you started.  Visit FlyLady.net!  I would suggest that you take it slow and pick out a few things that resonate with you and go from there.  Even if you don't like all of the suggestions, you are sure to find ones that will work for you.

Being a busy homeschooling mom of four kids, the question I get asked most often is how do I do it all.  Most recently it was my friend Melanie who brought it up at our knitting day.  I realized that when someone asks me that I always tell them the same thing:  "One day at a time!"  That's the simple answer.  The real answer is a little more complicated. 

As I have mentioned before, all of my kids are very, very different.  My fourteen year old has had some strong interests that have been the same for a long time.  He is very social, loves acting, Dungeons and Dragons, video games, anything Anime, including drawing, has an interest in Japanese culture, is learning to play guitar, reads a lot, loves learning about anything to do with history and science (which explains the steampunk fascination sparked by our attendance of Anime Boston this past year) and the list goes on but those have been his main focuses for a while.  He really would love to travel and see some ancient historical sites someday. 

My eleven year old loves seeing how things are made and has had me writing down his invention ideas in a journal.  He is definitely a technology kid and likes coming up with ideas to solve problems.  He is already better at navigating his computer than I am!  He also loves making and altering recipes, has a fascination with geology and nature, loves online gaming with his friends and building with Legos. 

My eight year old has a very vivid imagination.  Just like his brothers, he also loves video games.  His most recent fascination is watching YouTube videos people have made relating to the games he enjoys playing.  He loves it so much that he asked for, and received, his own video camera for Christmas so he can record videos for his own YouTube channel.  He also loves swimming, going to the beach and visiting with his friends.

My five year old has loved horses from the time she started speaking!  She is also loves to dance, sing, paint, can hand sew already and loves being outside.  The most recent things she has discovered is Minecraft and a love for anything zombie related!

These are my short lists of their interests and as you can see there isn't a lot overlap!  Even though their personalities are just as different as their interests, they are very close to each other.

Logistically, as far as seeing that they can pursue their interests, I will admit it isn't always easy.  For example, I can't always just jump in the car and drag all of the kids to go antique store, steampunk supply, treasure hunting with my oldest.  There is a lot of compromise and working things out.  Sometimes that has meant bringing one of the kids to a class somewhere and figuring out a way to entertain the other three while we wait.  Sometimes it means that my husband and I need to split our efforts between the two of us.  One of us goes one way on a Saturday with a kid or two and one of us goes the other.  While most of our vacations have been taken together as a family, we have also planned trips where my husband took two of the kids to LegoLand in California or to New York City so they can get the most out of it.  While we take it one day at a time, it takes some foresight and planning.  We figure out what is best for us as a family as well as what best individually as we go along.

As you can see it's not an easy answer to a simple question!  If you would like me to elaborate more about anything above, don't hesitate to ask.  I have decided to make my next several blogs related to this topic.  The other questions I have received have been about handling personality differences and how my husband and I manage to pursue our own interests as well.  If there are any other questions, be sure to submit them!

I wanted to sit down today and not only take my last blog, My wish for the New Year!, a step further but somehow tie it into how I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, as I touched upon in Why Spring is the best time for Resolutions of Renewal.  Well as synchronicity always seems to work for me, a newsletter I subscribe to arrived in my inbox today that mirrored the sentiments of what I wanted you all to consider for 2012 instead.  It also just so happens that I was discussing with my husband how I want to start sharing with all of you who some of the most influential and inspiring people are in my life.  This newsletter just happens to be from one of those people.

John Holland is the most gifted yet humble and down to earth psychic mediums I have ever had the pleasure of seeing in person.  I would not recommend him if I weren't 100% sure that he is for real.  I don't want to go into how he works and how deserved his reputation is.  What I did want to do is direct you to his latest newsletter which I know you will all enjoy immensely!

After reading it do visit his website, which I will list below, subscribe to his newsletter, which never disappoints and check out his calendar of events.  Bringing this entire blog full circle, one of the first blogs I wrote was after I went to the event he did with Brian Weiss in Boston.  (I see he is doing the event again this spring so register while you still can!)  You can read those blogs too if you haven't already:  The Psychic Housewife - Yep, that's what she called me! and part two Dr. Brian Weiss and John Holland in Boston


Here is an excerpt - please follow the link to read it on his site in its entirety:

     FINDING YOUR TRIBE IN 2012 by John Holland

     Happy New Year!

     Starting off the New Year, I didn’t want to write a newsletter about resolutions. I wanted to begin 2012 in the hope that
     you’ll find a group of link-minded people you resonate with. A group where the relationships are all about sharing, giving,
     and receiving energetically from each other.

     People who travel a spiritual path or who are just being awakened spiritually often find it difficult to follow their
     souls’ path alone; some people feel like they are the different one in their family or different from some of the people
     that are in their lives now. What do I truly mean by different? Let me try to explain.


To keep reading go to the web version of his newsletter :-)  Also visit John's website and register for his newsletter!

A lot of you have asked what we have been up to and have had a bunch of homeschooling questions.  I will have to get to answering them another day. 

Today, I wanted to keep it simple.  A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I thought it was a perfect thing to share.

Here is my wish for all of you this year...
(And if any of you can find who originally wrote this, do let me know!)

"Surround yourself with people who make you happy.  People who make you laugh, who help you when you're in need.  People who would never take advantage of you.  People who genuinely care.  They are the ones worth keeping in your life.  Everyone else is just passing through."

If you can do what it says above then your contentment will radiate and make you one of those people described above. 
You in turn will make others happy. 
You will then never take advantage of others; even inadvertently. 
You will then be someone who genuinely cares.

.... And all of this will happen not because it was contrived but because that is who you are and how you live.

I know people love to say treat others as you want to be treated but sometimes that really doesn't work.  That has been a tough lesson for me to learn.  If you get stuck knowing you didn't deserve to be treated a certain way because you treated someone else better, then you are owning someone else's issue.  You make yourself a victim. 

What I have learned is that if you are truly happy then people who don't treat you well turn out to be nothing more than a blip on the radar.  Even if they upset you, it's momentary.  Your default will be to be happy :-)  It all starts with gratitude for the people that do make your life richer through their presence.  Being aware of them and thankful for them is where it all starts.

I wish you all a safe and Happy New Year!!

I have a very special offer that I want to share with all of my blog followers:  For the next twelve days, I am offering my book at a discount!  (If you aren't sure which book I am talking about, and the story behind it, you can visit my blog titled The Results of Our Herbal Learning from a year ago.)  You can get my book for only $9.95 which will be signed by me and shipped for free!!  I am also offering free gift wrap if you want to ship it directly to friends and family!  To order, please visit The Herbal Beverage Book site.  Happy Holidays!!

I am grateful to have the freedom to homeschool our children and help them learn different things on an ongoing basis.  Our most recent experience with this has been in the area of music.  As my longtime readers know, we are a pretty musical family.  (If you are a new subscriber, here are a couple of my husband's band's music videos that I have shared before -  Adrenaline Addiction

Under Pressure - Cover

Each of our kids have had varying degrees of musical interest.   They have the opportunity to play with various instruments we have around the house – a piano, my old flute, smaller sized electric and acoustic guitars and a full size drum kit.  Our youngest likes to sing and needs her own microphone if she’s hanging with us when we practice.  Our oldest had expressed interest in taking piano lessons when he was about seven.  He has also performed on stage in musical productions.  Recently, he has been expressing interest in learning how to play the guitar.

Now you would think this would be a no-brainer.  We bought him his own electric guitar and mounted a hangar for it on the wall in his room.  We set him up with some video lessons and a couple of basic books to refer to.  On top of that we figured since my husband has been playing guitar for so long and I have some classical guitar lessons behind me, we’d have it covered.  That all makes sense, right?  We were so wrong!

We were assuming he’d just jump right in, be motivated to do it and ask us for help if he needed it.  Weeks went by and the guitar hadn’t been touched more than a few times.  When I asked him if he liked the video lessons he said he did but I still didn’t see right away why he just wasn’t running with it if he really wanted to play. 

After some consideration, I realized we apparently forgot that with some things he really enjoys learning through direct interaction.  It turns out that this would be one of those things!  The videos just weren’t interactive enough and couldn’t replace an in-person human teacher for him.  I also realized that just because we are musicians doesn’t automatically mean we know how to break it down simply enough for a beginner to learn without getting frustrated; not to say we didn’t try!  We had a bit of our own egos to swallow to admit this but once we did, it was easy to figure out the next step. 

My husband and I enjoy going out to see live bands and have started to get to know who’s who locally.  We discovered that one of the guitarists we have seen live that we liked just happened to also offer lessons.  We signed him up and he is doing really well.  While we understood that it is most important that the teacher not only enjoys playing the type of music he wants to play and can play it well, it is just important that he must be someone that our son enjoys learning from.   Thankfully we chose right!

I posted this one on 10/28/2010 realizing people need to know that what they do and who they are matters.  Let's spread the gratitude this season by creating a new grassroots, really meaningful tradition!!  Pass it on!!
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With Halloween almost here and Thanksgiving right around the corner, I have felt myself shift focus toward the next holiday a lot sooner than usual.  I really want to make Thanksgiving extra special this year.  I had an idea a couple of years ago on just how to do that but I haven't gotten around to it yet.  I think this year is the year!

Several months ago I reconnected with someone from high school.  We had lost touch in college and I had always wondered how she was doing.  Last I had seen her was when my father was battling Leukemia; during the last half of my high school years.  While it was very tough on me, I found that many of my friends didn't know what to say.  In hindsight, I can understand that they just didn't know how to handle it and, frankly, how many teenagers would.  This one friend though, always knew when all I needed was a hug.  After reconnecting with her a few months ago, I was so happy to be able to tell her just how much her friendship had meant to me all those years ago.

After seeing how much she appreciated hearing that, I realized the idea I had a couple of years ago was something I needed to do.  People really need to hear meaningful words of encouragement more often.  They need to know that who they are makes a positive difference in someone's life.

Starting in the next couple of weeks I am going to start writing what I am calling my Thanksgiving Letters.  I am going to sit down and make a list of all of the people that have made a positive impact on my life in some way and take the time to write them a note to tell them that.  I plan on making this a yearly tradition and, hopefully, my sharing it here will encourage other people to do it too.

People love plans, formulas, labels and superficial studies.  We love the pretty little packages we can buy and don't have to analyze because they are convenient.  It's something we can buy and consume.  If it doesn't work out we can blame who sold it to us.  We don't have to take responsibility for not doing our due diligence if we don't want to.  This is no different when it comes to education.  We love to believe what we are told about what works and what doesn't.  Have you stopped to notice that the favorable "evidence" in support of the status quo only points to economics and never includes any point of reference to feelings of long term personal fulfillment or happiness? 

I have been trying to keep all of this in mind lately especially during my recent temporary moments of panic.  My oldest homeschooling child is now fourteen!  This declaration is something I am not taking lightly.  It's hitting me in the same way I think it hits a lot of other homeschoolers.  My son is officially a highschooler!!!  I am starting to understand why some homeschoolers get scared and send their kids to high school.  

I have had my days of panic and uncertainty before.  Are the kids learning enough?  Am I doing everything I can to help them reach their full potential?  It's certainly harder to face these questions when all of the responsibility is on me.  I can't point fingers at a school system or certain teachers.  How many are brave enough to really, honestly take that responsibility whether their kids are in a school system or not?

My only educational point of reference is my own.  I attended a private high school and had more intense classes with double the homework than I had in college.  I also had to work part time; mostly for free in order to compensate for my high school tuition.  I also look at the family histories that my husband and I have.  Both sides are full of professional artists, engineers, entrepreneurs, lawyers and white-collar employees.  How do I go from that history to this moment of uncharted territory for us?  The beliefs that were instilled in me tell me that if the kids aren't well "trained" they will struggle and become victims of the system.  It's hard to deprogram these messages when you are still surrounded by them.

I have heard very mixed results from those that have homeschooled through high school.  The funny thing is I have heard just as mixed, if not worse, results from kids that went through the traditional route too.  No matter which path you want to go, neither is a formula for guaranteed success.

I have written about this before in “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  High school kids graduating with honors, speaking three languages and having full resumes of achievements are a dime a dozen.  What aren’t very common are young adults who stand out because they have something that drives them and lights their direction.  This is when I look at how many in our families haven’t felt fulfilled no matter what their paychecks were like.

One of the advantages of having a decent amount of adult life behind me is that I can also look at the life experiences of my friends and colleagues.  I have over twenty years of real life examples right in front of me.  Having the maturity to see the big picture of these people’s lives is a great advantage!  Who is truly happy, who isn’t and most importantly why?  Which ones had a mid-life crisis?  How many of these people are still trying to “find” themselves?  What can I do differently with my kids so they are set up for success and happiness in life? 

What I do know is that I want my kids to be independent, fulfilled and always confident that they can take care of themselves no matter what twists and turns life has in store for them.  I don’t want them living their life according to someone else’s formula, agenda, dogma or society’s expectations of them.  What I want most for them is to keep in touch with who they are and what makes them happy.

So with renewed confidence I am approaching our new high school homeschooling journey.  My son will be able to continue to follow the interests he is most passionate about, continue to build the strong friendships he has and always know that no matter what he chooses as his path in life, it is HIS path.  Hopefully, with a continued awareness of motivations behind his academic and life decisions, I can continue to guide him to live a productive, creative, fun and satisfying life.

Photo credit - Dean Terry

I have been struggling a bit with what kind of journey I want to take you all on with my blog.  After speaking with my husband last night I realized I am trying too hard.  What can I say?  Old habits die hard!  In my efforts to give you all some practical and thought provoking blogs, I have been straying a bit from who I am and my purpose.  I also realize it is because of my own fears.

I'm a homeschooling mom who prefers close relationships with my kids as opposed to detached ones.  But most importantly, I am psychic.  I blogged about this before in The Psychic Housewife - Yep, that's what she called me!  It has been so interwoven into my life that it is hard for me to remember that not everyone knows how to tune into their intuition, especially when it comes to parenting.  My abilities help me choose close friends that support me; when I really choose to listen to it!!  They help me figure out exactly how to integrate something I would like the kids to learn about into our lives in fun ways.  They help me figure out what is going on with my kids on a daily basis. 

I know there are skeptics out there, even among my current friends reading this.  All I have to say is start reading about the lives of the most successful people on the planet.  One of the things all of them talk about is using your intuition.  I believe that in order to be a successful parent you must learn to tune into your intuition in your home life as well.

Just as any skill is easier for some people than others, it doesn't mean that it can't be learned if someone really wants to.  The same thing applies to fine tuning your intuition.  What really challenges most parents, and I have been one of them, is being able to distinguish between pre-programmed reactions from your own past and the current situation with your kids.  It is only through constant practice and awareness that you can learn to start separating the two.  When you do, you can begin to not only become a better parent but can also start to heal negative influences from your own past and current situations.  What more could a parent ask for?!? 

How do you start the process?  It's pretty simple and requires absolutely no money out of pocket.  Get rid of all of your parenting books and magazines and be present with your kids.  Really get to know them!  Once you can do this you will start to pay more attention to how you are feeling and most importantly why.  Are your feelings based on fear that stems from external influences, past or present?  Or are they authentically in the present moment closely connected to who your child is?  If you can start making a constant habit of paying attention to that one question, you are well on your way to being the parent your child needs.

For a year and a half I have been blogging about parenting.  However the continued positive feedback I have received has been evenly split between those that are parents and those that aren't.  From heartfelt emails from teenagers to comments from single ladies in their thirties without children, I have seen that I have touched a much wider audience than I had ever expected to. 

My biggest surprise came last year when my husband called to tell me that a customer called him from out of state and asked if he was related to me.  The customer, of course, had some work related questions but wanted to mention that he and his wife had been thinking about school for their child and was able to find their own way with the help of a couple of things I had written about.  My blog was shared with them by someone in their local homeschool community.  Needless to say, I almost dropped my cell phone!

From that moment on I realized the true impact of anything I wrote about.  I also realized that my inner drive to keep writing was something I needed to honor by continuing to write.  With that said I have to admit I write a lot more than I post.  Most of it ends up sitting in a folder because I am unsure of whether or not it will serve the highest good of my readers.  My usual gauge is to note how I am feeling when I write it.  If it's not something I am nervously excited about then I know that's not my post for the day.  I understand the power of my words and I do not ever want to sway someone to do something that could change their or their child's life forever in any negative way.  Sure there are people out there just looking for any excuse to not take responsibility for themselves but I will not willingly put anything out there knowing that it may be easy fodder for someone like that.

In taking all of this into account I am starting a new writing journey.  I have wanted to write my own story for many years now but couldn't envision how it could help anyone.  About a month ago I had written a new About The Author where I shared a little more about who I am and how I became the parent I am today.  The emails started pouring in.  Little did I realize that my life experiences and what I learned from them were enough.  That is what drives me to continually be a better parent.  And that is what drives me to write.  And so my new journey begins where I take all of it and write about it not only for myself, but all of you who continue to inspire me to keep going.